I never really liked to drink alone. Never really poured my selve a glass of wine and just relaxed.
I tend to be the type of person to over think everything. Have I said to much? Am I a good mum? Did I make the right choice? Is he happy to be around me? I eventually come around and give my selve a good slap in the face. And this is where my fear of drinking alone comes from. If I over react and over think sober can you imagine what I would be like with a drink in my head with no distractions?
With people around I enjoy my glass of wine. I am chatty and cheerful. Alas what will happen to me if I just let go and pour my selve that glass? I have come to realize that this has also been my self sabotage.I recently had an interview where I blurted out what i thought they wanted to hear rather then let the answers come naturally. Everyone thought I was a shoe in for the job. But unfortunately I was unsuccessful. Being given feedback I was told I “need to learn to blow my own trumpets”. Thing is the trumpets are always blowing. They are just out of tune.
I know that I need to change my outlook and retune that trumpet. So starting from now. I’m going to have my glass of wine. Maybe it won’t be that bad after all. I might even enjoy my own company.