Goodluck

I hate sleeping. Let me rephrase that. I like my few hours of needed rest every night. But I hate over sleeping. Or should I say, oversleepers.

Why on earth would you want to waste a beautiful sunny day asleep?! Even when I have nothing to do. I find something to do. Or at least go outside and sleep in the sun. I understand you work till late and you need to sleep however if you come home at 1 or 2 pm and stay awake till about 5 or 6 just because you want to watch some tv that’s just plain annoying. Could you not have slept at night and watched tv during the day?

Ok.. You might be asking where this is coming from? I’m trying really hard not to nag and complain. But it seems like he keeps doing all the things I hate just to see how long it takes for me to erupt.

Well not this time. I am taking the high road and keeping silent. If you do not want to come and visit a friend. Fine. If you do not want to sleep at night and then end up sleeping in the day. Fine. You want to go out with your friends. Fine. Eventually you will realise I am annoyed at you and by then you will also have to figure out how to fix it.

Goodluck.image

Building a bridge

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Sometimes I just want to run and hide from the world. I hate drama in general however it seems to follow me around. I’m sure we all feel that way. But I guess some days feel worse then others.

We have all done things we regret in life but I think the argument with the mother-in-law is one of the all time nightmares for either spouse. Till today I regret the argument. Mind you I wasn’t entirely wrong all together, the argument was something about him being my husband 1st and her son 2nd (according to her) and the other way around (according to me). However it was not the content of the argument which I regret but the way I handled my selve. The phrase keep calm had defiantly flown out the window that day, and because of that I now have to relive that miserable day every time my husband and I get into an argument ourselves.

Now please note the mother-in-law and I are way over it. You could even say it made us much closer, understand each other better and where we both are coming from, but unfortunately it has given my dear husband the bragging rights of never having such an argument with my side of the family. So now I have to bare it every time he brings it up and I’m just Annoyed that he keeps mentioning it.

I really wish he would build a bridge and come join his mother and I on the other side!

I’m sure he will eventually but what do I do in the meantime? Should I stick to my plan of action and keep quite? Or should I tell him that the building material is now available and the bridge needs to be built ASAP?

I guess time will tell.. Watch this space

To speak or not to speak?

imageI never really know when it’s the time to fight the good fight or when to bite my tongue. Sometimes he makes me so angry, but even though I know I’m right somehow the moment I open my mouth I’ve lost the argument. It seems to always sound better in my head.

A good friend once told me that there are two secrets to a gotod relationship. 1) choose your battles wisely
2) no response gets you a lot further then starting a war.

The thing with men is this.. Once you open your mouth they tend to shut down. If you are voicing your opinion you are nagging and moaning. Irrelevant if you are right or wrong, but if you give them a taste of the silent treatment you have pretty much won the battle without even starting it.

Exhibit A : Your boyfriend wants to join a gym. You think it’s great news, until he mentions he wants to go with a mutual colleague who we all know is the office slut. Rather then voice your objection straight away. Just say “oh that’s nice” and turn away, go do something else, give him a bit if the cold shoulder. He will eventually notice and ask you what’s wrong. Now here is the tricky part, this would normally be your Que to blow his head off for not realizing that this makes you uncomfortable. But no. Instead, you must calmly explain that you love the fact he is joining the gym, however you would much rather he do it alone or with some other friends given the slut’s history. Letting him ask you what’s wrong rather then starting a full blown nag fest the moment he opens his mouth will make sure you have got his attention and also reduce the chances of him shutting you down or worse..doing it any way just to piss you off.

So I made my selve a promise. I WILL bite my tongue next time round. I will start counting in my head if I have to. I will let the moment of blind rage pass and stop to reflect about my next move. Who knows? I might just avoid a few more arguments all together.

Monday blues?

 

imageI find my self looking forward to getting into work this Monday. Not because I enjoy work per say, but because I needed to get out of the house. I felt like I was going crazy. What was I doing to impact his mood this much? Was it something I said? Or did?

Sunday night he was in a lousy mood but I couldn’t be sure why. I know that he is stressed with work and that he is anxious about his new business, but did I do something to make things worse? I went to bed that night with a million thoughts in my head, and woke up the next day feeling like I barely slept. After preparing breakfast and getting our child ready for school I had to wake him up so that he could do the school run. He mumbled under his breath all the way to the school and almost killed us with his driving on route to my office. He said something about being a taxi driver and also mentioned ghastly hours in the morning.. I know he isn’t exactly what we call a morning person but he needed to keep the car to run his errands so he had to be the one to do the driving today.

What can I say? I was sure glad to be in the office.. And after explaining my feelings to the girls at work I have come to the conclusion that all men seem to go through their “time of the month”. One of the girls advised me to let him be. Let him dee stress and try not to argue with him. Keeping my mouth shut is not exactly my forte but I need to try. None of my other attempts to lighten the mood have worked. I have also been advised that pestering him to tell me what’s wrong will only shut him down even more, just like an overloaded computer, pressing a lot of buttons at one go will only make it worse and might cause your computer to freeze. When he is ready to talk he will, and when that time arrives I need to remember to sit back and listen, rather then to try and solve his problems for him. Men and their precious pride.. When things don’t go their way it must be us women who keep the calm and gently remind them not to give up.

Supporting someone doesn’t necessary mean needing to say something, it could also mean being the calm in the background, giving the space for that person to sort out his own thoughts, not over reacting like I started to do, but understanding that it’s not always something you’ve done but the stresses of life which at the end of the day we tend to take out on each other.