Let the good times role. It’s been a long week but an eventful one. My husband is finally getting his business sorted, which means he is coming home a happier man. When times are hard one must always remember the good times.
I think patience goes along way but one also needs that little bit of faith. The stress that comes along with life could make or brake your relationship. I’m not saying to take all the crap that he trows at you. I’m just saying choose your battles and recognize that sometimes he isn’t really upset with you but more at life in general and you are the person he can vent to.
I’ve learnt a lot about giving space and it has made a big difference. I’m certain that in less then a week I will be blogging about some stupidity or another men tend to come up with. 🙂 but until then I’m going to enjoy the sunshine and get me some lovin.
I hate sleeping. Let me rephrase that. I like my few hours of needed rest every night. But I hate over sleeping. Or should I say, oversleepers.
Why on earth would you want to waste a beautiful sunny day asleep?! Even when I have nothing to do. I find something to do. Or at least go outside and sleep in the sun. I understand you work till late and you need to sleep however if you come home at 1 or 2 pm and stay awake till about 5 or 6 just because you want to watch some tv that’s just plain annoying. Could you not have slept at night and watched tv during the day?
Ok.. You might be asking where this is coming from? I’m trying really hard not to nag and complain. But it seems like he keeps doing all the things I hate just to see how long it takes for me to erupt.
Well not this time. I am taking the high road and keeping silent. If you do not want to come and visit a friend. Fine. If you do not want to sleep at night and then end up sleeping in the day. Fine. You want to go out with your friends. Fine. Eventually you will realise I am annoyed at you and by then you will also have to figure out how to fix it.
I never really know when it’s the time to fight the good fight or when to bite my tongue. Sometimes he makes me so angry, but even though I know I’m right somehow the moment I open my mouth I’ve lost the argument. It seems to always sound better in my head.
A good friend once told me that there are two secrets to a gotod relationship. 1) choose your battles wisely
2) no response gets you a lot further then starting a war.
The thing with men is this.. Once you open your mouth they tend to shut down. If you are voicing your opinion you are nagging and moaning. Irrelevant if you are right or wrong, but if you give them a taste of the silent treatment you have pretty much won the battle without even starting it.
Exhibit A : Your boyfriend wants to join a gym. You think it’s great news, until he mentions he wants to go with a mutual colleague who we all know is the office slut. Rather then voice your objection straight away. Just say “oh that’s nice” and turn away, go do something else, give him a bit if the cold shoulder. He will eventually notice and ask you what’s wrong. Now here is the tricky part, this would normally be your Que to blow his head off for not realizing that this makes you uncomfortable. But no. Instead, you must calmly explain that you love the fact he is joining the gym, however you would much rather he do it alone or with some other friends given the slut’s history. Letting him ask you what’s wrong rather then starting a full blown nag fest the moment he opens his mouth will make sure you have got his attention and also reduce the chances of him shutting you down or worse..doing it any way just to piss you off.
So I made my selve a promise. I WILL bite my tongue next time round. I will start counting in my head if I have to. I will let the moment of blind rage pass and stop to reflect about my next move. Who knows? I might just avoid a few more arguments all together.
Why do We try and sneak into his Facebook account? Why don’t We trust him? I think the real issues are not “what are they up to?” But rather “why do we think they are up to something?”
Lets face it.. We all know someone who has been cheated on, or lied to, or stabbed in the back right? But should all these horror stories really affect us that much that we find ourselves trying to figure out their passwords and become qualified stalkers/hackers?
The answer should be NO. I would like to think that we have enough confidence to trust that they will come back to us, that we are worth it. Sadly, this is not always the case.. I for one am guilty as charged for being overly paranoid.
And you know what the worst thing about it is? They aren’t going to leave us because they where up to something or because they found someone else.. They are going to leave us because we are overbearing bordering crazy. There is a fine line between jealousy and paranoia and we must remember not to cross this line..
At the end of the day he is with you because he wants to be. Not because he has to be. Let him have his time without you. It will make the time you spend together all the better.