I never really know when it’s the time to fight the good fight or when to bite my tongue. Sometimes he makes me so angry, but even though I know I’m right somehow the moment I open my mouth I’ve lost the argument. It seems to always sound better in my head.
A good friend once told me that there are two secrets to a gotod relationship. 1) choose your battles wisely
2) no response gets you a lot further then starting a war.
The thing with men is this.. Once you open your mouth they tend to shut down. If you are voicing your opinion you are nagging and moaning. Irrelevant if you are right or wrong, but if you give them a taste of the silent treatment you have pretty much won the battle without even starting it.
Exhibit A : Your boyfriend wants to join a gym. You think it’s great news, until he mentions he wants to go with a mutual colleague who we all know is the office slut. Rather then voice your objection straight away. Just say “oh that’s nice” and turn away, go do something else, give him a bit if the cold shoulder. He will eventually notice and ask you what’s wrong. Now here is the tricky part, this would normally be your Que to blow his head off for not realizing that this makes you uncomfortable. But no. Instead, you must calmly explain that you love the fact he is joining the gym, however you would much rather he do it alone or with some other friends given the slut’s history. Letting him ask you what’s wrong rather then starting a full blown nag fest the moment he opens his mouth will make sure you have got his attention and also reduce the chances of him shutting you down or worse..doing it any way just to piss you off.
So I made my selve a promise. I WILL bite my tongue next time round. I will start counting in my head if I have to. I will let the moment of blind rage pass and stop to reflect about my next move. Who knows? I might just avoid a few more arguments all together.